Before I give you the meat of this blog, I want you know that when I started this, it was to touch people’s lives. It was to maybe help others with the tidbits that God has given me. It’s not about me, but about Him reaching others THROUGH me. Today’s blog is not my story but touched my heart so much. I’m so glad that the words God has given me has encouraged another to share her testimony. My friend, Jessica, shared her story and her testimony with me. Now I want to share it with you so that you all will know that God doesn’t just show up in the pew, at the altar or in the choir….sometimes He shows up and meets us on the bathroom floor.

Jessica’s Story of Trusting In the Lord

Proverbs 3:5-8 (NLT)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
What does it really mean to trust in the Lord? We, as Christ followers, often say we trust God.

We pray for protection over our loved ones and trust He will do that. We pray for current needs, whether it be that we get the new house we are trying to buy, get the new job we desperately need, get a promotion at work, get a raise, etc. You can enter anything people are often hoping for on any given day. We are busy making decisions about what we want and how we want our plans to go. And in that we often find ourselves praying for God to bring the outcomes we are desiring and working so hard for.

So what happens when what we are praying for doesn’t come to fruition? I can’t speak for everyone but I know I used to say “okay I guess God didn’t want that specific job for me or I’m not meant for that promotion so I will pick a new goal and path I want and start praying for that to work out.” Now on the surface this seems so normal and how we are supposed to live as Christ followers. But today I am asking you to challenge this thought process. Let’s dig deeper into how God intended us to use these instructions in Proverbs.

The book of Proverbs is full of amazing, everyday life advice. So much of it seems like common sense. But I have to say through my trials and life experiences I have found that while I would read the verses and know it made sense, I discovered I wasn’t truly getting it. The meat of it, the
hearty portion, the sustenance the verses contain to feed our hungry and thirsty souls. I was entirely missing the point. So it was as if I was reading the instructions but had no idea how to really apply them to my life. This sparked a new self-reflective question I had to ask myself. If I couldn’t seem to apply these instructions to my situations in life, or better yet, if I kept making
mental excuses for why those specific instructions just weren’t going to work for me and what I was going through at the time then an even bigger question had to be asked. Was I truly LISTENING?

So many times in the Bible are we instructed to “Listen” to God, “Listen” to Jesus, and soak up God’s Word. In Luke 11:28 Jesus says “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”. James 1:22 says “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise you are only fooling yourselves.” Proverbs 16:20 says “Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.” And in Matthew 7:24-27 Jesus says “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it wont collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” The word “listen” appears in the Bible 1,595 times. I can definitely tell you today that I was NOT listening back then. And boy did that rain and floodwater ever come crashing in on me in a moment when I least expected it. But I’ll get to more of that story in a moment.

When it comes to God’s word and instruction, listening to and trusting God go hand in hand. It’s pretty self explanatory to say that you cannot truly be listening to God’s word if you don’t trust Him. But can you honestly say you are trusting God if you are not listening and doing things His way? No, because that would mean you are doing things your way and not trusting His instruction. Seems sensible enough right? But how many times does it take something big happening to us for us to truly grasp a concept? Let me tell you about my rain and floodwater experience…

My ex-husband had affair that started as an emotional affair while I was pregnant with my youngest and it turned physical after she was born. I learned of this when she was 3 days old. This was summer of 2017. We had been married for a little over 8 years and I thought we were fine. To me, we were rounding out our family with our third and I was going to soak up every
little baby moment I could cause I knew she’d be our last and I was looking forward to the future. Then he dropped the bomb on me. There was another woman at work and he wasn’t in love with me anymore.

Let me clarify I’m not saying any of this to bash him or bring negative
light to his name. We actually get a long pretty well now and I have forgiven them both. But I’m sharing so maybe you could see how badly my life was turned upside down and with a new baby it felt like even worse timing. These weren’t my plans at all. I never wanted this life for my children and it just wasn’t right in any shape or form.

So I cried out to God and I asked him Why? How is this right? This can’t be what you want! This can’t be how my life goes! And I
fought it. I thought I could fix things. I went on rants towards my ex and said anything and everything under the sun I thought would make him see how wrong it all was and would change
his mind. I was trying to handle the situation myself and I was constantly anxious and just a huge mess really.

Then after some wise counsel from a couple of my sisters in Christ, I read
Proverbs 3:5-6 for the umpteenth time. But this time was different. This time I listened. And one evening when my parents came over to watch my three children so I could have some time to myself and take a hot shower, I got on my knees in my bathroom as I had been doing every night to pray for my ex to see his wrongdoings and return. But this time I didn’t pray for his
return.

I prayed specifically over Proverbs 3:5-6“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Through my sobbing tears and in the face of some of my worst fears I placed my marriage along with myself, my ex and my children in God’s hands. I gave it all to Him for the first time. I told God I didn’t know what the future held and even if it wasn’t how I wanted it to
go, I trusted Him anyway. I asked Him to show me what to do next every moment from then on.

God truly met me that day on my bathroom floor. My tears stopped and I felt His peace. That peace that surpasses all understanding. I didn’t understand it but it felt amazing. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Letting go of the control. See, if we are truly listening and trusting God then we know we can’t be the ones in control. So even though I didn’t understand
why God would allow this or why this would be a part of His plan for me and my children, I leaned on Him. And He carried me all the way. He still is to this day.

Verses 7-8 applied in all the days that soon followed. There were so many times I wanted to react to my ex in anger and say some pretty ungodly things just to make him suffer and hurt like I was. But every time I felt those urges, I gave them to God instead. I knew that wasn’t how God wanted me to act. So when I would feel so much anger and rage, I would hand it over and turn on my praise music. I
would give God glory and praise Him for already having these issues worked out for me cause even if I didn’t know how this was going to go, He did. And I trusted Him and I knew He had nothing but good plans for me. (Jeremiah 29:11).

Every time I handed the anger, hurt and resentment over God would cover me with His peace and strength. By turning to Him with every temptation to act out in a wrong manner, He was then taking it and healing me from the inside
out. So, when I was trying to “fix it” myself but praying for the outcome I desired, everything was just a jumbled mess including ME. My thoughts were scattered and I was crying all the time and focusing on all that went wrong. It didn’t work. Every time I lashed out at him, I ended up
only feeling worse about myself. But when I truly leaned on God, put it in His hands and learned to truly Trust Him….that was when I received His peace and His strength.

God became my focus every day instead of my ex or all that was wrong. So what does it mean to trust the Lord with all your heart? To me, it’s when, in the darkest hour of your darkest day you put it all in His hands even though you literally have no understanding of why it’s happening and you have no
idea where it’s taking you in life. But you give it to Him and ask Him to show you the next right step every step of the way and trust His plan over your own desires.

Isaiah 55:8-12
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper
everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace.”