Mother’s Day is hard. It has been since that dreadful Saturday morning in 1999. All of a sudden, I became a mom with no mom.

I can’t begin to explain the tightness that still grips at my chest when I think of her or the tears that come out of nowhere some days.

But if you have been in this place, I don’t have to explain it. You know.

You just know.

There is an empty hole that you feel when you look at the pictures of your friends and family with their moms. You want to close your phone and not peek at the Mother’s Day wishes from all the lucky children that still have her here with them. And yes, I say children. Because when it comes to missing your mom, that child is still and always will be there.

Now that I’ve cried through this post, let me tell you about the wonderful parts of my Mother’s Day. The absolute best part. My reason for breathing and my reason to keep going.

My babies.

No, there not babies anymore, but they are mine.

They make me smile when I don’t think I can. They fill the empty hole in my heart that was made when she left to meet Jesus.

Mother’s Day becomes less hard. It becomes an honor because God gave me the privilege of being their mom. Oh, how wonderful it was to be given that job. It is by far the hardest, best, most challenging and easiest title I’ve ever been given. (Yes that’s a lot of contradictions lol) But it’s the God’s honest truth.

So if you’re like me and sometimes dread the holiday that honors someone you no longer have here with you, remember the best parts. Remember the parts that make this life worth living.

Remember the honor that God gave you of being a Mother.

Because one day, I will look into her eyes again and I hope that she will know that if I am ONLY HALF the mother she was, then they will have been my greatest achievement.

Until next time.. Happy Mother’s Day…